We’re looking at the value of being told no, that no is good for our souls. I’m very aware of the yeah, but nature of this message. Yeah, but what about this circumstance? Well, you don’t understand. Yeah, but this is different. I would just simply want to encourage you, listen first, and then not to let your objections keep you in the way of hearing God’s word. We look through the reading of God’s word. You see multiple texts in front of you. If you please join me in prayer. Father of all mercies in your word, endless glory shine forth. Your word guides our steps, gives discernment to those who seek you. We ask that you would grant, we would find new beauties in an ever increasing light in them this day. Divine instructor and gracious Lord, be forever near us. Teach us to love your sacred words and to view our savior here. For it’s his name we do pray. Amen. Proverbs 3: 7, Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Proverbs 11: 2, When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 12, The wave of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Proverbs 16. All the ways of man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord ways the spirit. And from the New Testament, the gospel of Matthew. When Jesus said to them, My soul is very sourful, even to death. Remain here and watch with me. ‘ And going a little farther, he fell on his face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. ‘ Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, ‘My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done. ‘ He went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. And then the Book Hebrews. During the days of Jesus’s life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death. And he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son, though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered. And once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obeyed. I’m going to ask you to pray for them. And what they wanted you to pray for was them to have six-pack abs or to run a 430-mile or to bench 350 pounds.
I imagine it would cause you a little bit of pause. Certainly, these are high-level physical achievements. If they told you, though, that they weren’t actually planning on doing any exercises or workouts, I bet that would not make your prayer list. You probably wouldn’t give it much serious thought. If someone who were to say, I want God to miraculously give me a fit body without me doing anything, somehow instinctively would know that’s just probably not right. But we can do this very same thing when it comes to character qualities and the fruit of the spirit. Wanting prayer for something like, I want patience, I want kindness, I want self-control, I want humility. All of these qualities, they require an exercise or an action just like bodily fitness. To pray for those without any attempt to move in that direction doesn’t produce those fruit. To pray for sanctification is asking Lord to help you respond or act in a manner you wouldn’t normally do so as a sinful person. You are involved. You are pushing against your sin. You’re pushing against the desire to do the opposite when you are praying and asking for those attributes. And in the pursuit of biblical wisdom, being told no, having our block or path, something in there that is an obstruction of some kind, these circumstances are like lumber for a building project.
The Lord can build great things of value in us with those. On the other hand, a poor response by us can turn that building lumber into a fuel for a very bad fire. Following Jesus will stretch you in these very circumstances, in these very moments of the challenge. When the Lord allows these obstacles to block our path, we must respond in a way that honors him throughout as we push against our own sin. Now, no one likes being told no. You see that with the tiniest of children, A little toddler, you tell them no, and you get this almost instantaneous response. Nobody likes to be told no. It’s true of all sinners in general, and it is true of our culture, specifically. Because overcoming obstacles is what the American spirit is all about. It’s the stuff of Hollywood movies and the epic films. There’s a mountain to scale, the enemy to vanquish, the disease to cure, the disability to overcome. And all of these make great plots. Who doesn’t want to cheer for the underdog as they achieve victory through relentless tenacity? To never give up, never stop, never quit. When there’s someone or something placing a no in front of you.
But here’s the problem. Not all nos in our lives are meant to be overcome. They are not all obstacles that we need to fight through. Of course, how do we know the difference? Wow, that brings us right back to this issue of wisdom, the skill in the art of Godly living. It’s what we’ve been looking at for several weeks. It’s in these trying moments that our souls can be stretched, exercised as we learn to develop a humble and submissive heart to the Lord. We’re looking then at how this stretches our soul. Proverbs 12: 15, it begins as, The way the fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 16: 2, All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord ways the spirit. And what Proverbs is telling us is that we think we’re right. That’s our default setting. And the difference between a foolish person and a wise person is when we allow our rightness to be challenged or corrected by the Lord or by others. How many have memorized Proverbs 3: 5, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
But what exactly does that mean? Having a disposition of humility from the start. Proverbs 11: 2, When pride comes, then comes distress, but with humility comes wisdom. When we get roadblocks to our plans, what do we do next? Where do we go with the no? In our pride, we can justify anything we do. We convince ourselves that our plans are noble and right. We can start a PR campaign to get others to support our position or our desires. We even know how to use the right Christian language. The Lord has just laid this on my heart. I prayed and prayed, and I know this is God’s will for me. You could put a fish on anything. It’s not just for bumpers. Anything you do, you can put a fish on it to say why this is God’s will for what you’re doing. But a question to think about is, what is the Lord’s greater purpose for you is to grow through the experience more than he wants some particular goal accomplished? You see that at times in scripture. 1 Chronicles 28, King David wanted to build the temple. Now, certainly, if you’re talking about a great thing to do for an Israel king would be to build the temple of God, right?
How could that possibly be wrong? What was the Lord’s response to David? Good plan, wrong man. Your son is going to be the one who builds my temple, not you. And David, in response to this, began to acquire the building materials for his son to build. He didn’t try to do a workaround. It’s like, Okay, this is not for me. It’s for my son. I’ll do whatever I can to help him, even though I’ve been told no. In the Book of Acts, chapter 16, we see Paul and his missionary band wanted to get to a particular region. Bethenia was where they were at, but in some way the Holy spirit doesn’t let them go. We’re not told exactly how that went down. We read, And when they come to Mycia. They attempted to go into Bethune, but the spirit of Jesus did not allow them. I don’t really know exactly what that means, but what it does mean is they didn’t go. They went somewhere else. How easy it would have for Paul to complain about this. Lord, don’t you understand? There are people here who’ve never heard about Jesus. It’s not like a long line of people are coming to fill in my place.
Why? Why on earth would you not let me go and tell these people about the good news of Jesus? That’s not what he did. He submitted himself to the Lord, and the Lord opened up in another region, the means of the gospel to be received and claimed with much fruit. Great and noble goals that got red carded before they even got onto the field. Now, they had the benefit of knowing it was the Lord who was directly telling them no, but this principle still applies. Not every good idea is automatically a green light from the Lord, nor is every obstacle there to be overcome. How do I know? That’s the issue of wisdom. If you want a little food for thought, later look at numbers 22, where Balaam, the prophet, three times prayed to God that he would be allowed to do something, and all three times the Lord told him no. And finally, he keeps persisting. And the Lord lets him go with a yes, the text intends us to think about this seeming change in mind of the Lord. It wasn’t a good outcome. And we ask, well, what good can come from a no?
God is stretching us. He’s building our character. And every time we act in humility, we stunt the growth of pride in our which is a good thing. Stunting pride. It brings glory to the Lord. Proverbs 133, Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear of harm. Pride and arrogance do not Listen. That’s why the commands are, continue to listen, because they don’t. They’re forming their rebuttals while you’re still talking. As soon as your lips stop moving, they start speaking without ever really having listened to anything you said. And the way they go. Proverbs 11: 2, When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Humility has to always be the foundation from which we do everything. Humility says, I need Jesus in my life in every way. The true wisdom of God. I don’t do this well. I need Jesus. Now, we have runners in our church who have run marathons. Some of them are you. The only way you can prepare for something like that is actually running. You must go out and burn through several pairs of running shoes to get to where you can do this.
Humility is built in the same way by being humble. How do you be humble? One way is hearing a no and stopping to listen before you start already articulating your objection. By not already setting in motion a plan to get around it. By actively keeping any resentment from building up in your heart. That’s hard to do for anyone who’s tried. The initial no sometimes is easy to hear, but then it starts to nod us and resentment grows, that slow burn of bitterness. One pastor put it like this, Kevin DeJung, said, There’s no escaping the snare of resentment, save for the sovereign grace of God. Once you let the seed of bitterness get planted and take root. The flower only blooms what is bitter. No matter how much you reason, no matter how much you listen, no matter how much you care or critique, the matter is as clear to the resentful one as it ever was. It’s all your fault. That’s the trap. Resentment keeps us from listening. Proverbs 1: 33, But whoever listens to me will live. Our very hearts at that time start to have everything in us not wanting to listen, to push it away.
Keeps us from having a submissive heart. How we deal with the nose of life, it shows us most clearly our own hearts of submission to Jesus, a submissive heart. But someone will say, Yeah, that’s all fine and good, but I know I’m right. Now, we have a funny way of thinking about submission. You’ve heard me say this before. As long as we agree with something, we think we’re being submissive. No, the word for that is called agreement. Submission only comes into play when you disagree with someone and you’re willing to do it anyways. When your plan is the one that’s shot down and you’re willing to get on board with the one that was approved that you didn’t like. Immediately, when that happens, somebody goes, Well, nobody’s listening to me. They’re not listening. Nobody’s listening. Nobody’s listening to me. Listen, listen. Often what we mean when we say that is not that they’re not listening. It’s they’re not doing what we want. Those are different. I’m sure you’ve been around those things like that. You’re not listening to me. It’s like, yes, I know what you’re saying. I hear it very clearly, but I’m not going to do it.
I disagree with you. You’ve been heard, but we’re not doing it. That’s not the same as not listening. And what do you do when they are telling you, I’ve heard you. I understand what you’re asking. No. It is this act of humility which stretches the soul, which gives you a greater capacity for being Christlike. You’re going to read through a litany of Proverbs just with a similar idea. Be not wise in your own eyes. The way of the fool is right in his own eyes. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes. Every way of a man is right in in his own eyes. Do you see a man who’s wise in his own eyes? Those who are pure in their own eyes. The commonality, and there’s many Proverbs like this, is you’re wise in your own eyes. How are you so sure you’re right? By what infallible guide do you think that you see so clearly? Because we all see this in other people. We 100% see people who go, Oh, my goodness. Who are they trying to kid? They clearly are not right. If that is the case that we see so easy with other people, could it not also be the case with our own hearts?
I tell you what, if a thousand people out there can all be wrong and you’re the only one who can’t, you might want to reconsider where you put yourself. It’s a thousand and one. And you have to start with that. Wisdom tells us we need to cultivate a certain amount of mistrust of our own judgment. Where we’re like, maybe I’m not seeing this correctly. Because nobody starts out by saying, I’m pretty sure. In fact, I know I’m wrong about this, but I’m going to demand we do it anyways. Nobody does that. No, it’s not going to work, but we’re going to do it anyhow. No, you really think it’s going to work. We think we’re right. And that’s exactly what Proverbs is telling us. Proverbs 21: 12, Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord ways the heart. Okay, let’s say that on this issue, though. No, really. I mean, you don’t understand. I am really, really, really right about this. Okay. There is a danger of forcing through a good thing in the wrong way. You can get what you want in the end, but leave behind you a wake of destruction that does not honor the Lord at all.
And someone could also say, Well, you don’t understand. You don’t understand how bad my boss is, my dad, my sister, my coworker, my teacher, my… Fill in the blank. Okay, I may not completely understand how bad they are. King David had a pretty tough boss. His boss, King Saul, kept trying to kill him all the time. I don’t know if you’ve had that experience at work where somebody tries to pin you with a spear, your boss is… I doubt that’s happened to you. But that was David’s experience. When he had the opportunity to kill Saul, he didn’t. Nobody disputes that King Saul was in the wrong. Everybody, yes, he was wrong. But David entrusted himself to the Lord and to the Lord’s timing. Essentially, he said, When God is ready, I’ll be king, but not a moment sooner. And I will trust God to work this out. Now, fortunately for us is that you hardly ever have to deal with the difficulties of being told no in a church unless you’re part of the music team, the fellowship committee, the mission’s committee, the search committee, a building committee, planning the budget, a part of men’s ministries, women’s ministries, youth ministries, children’s ministries, being in leadership of any kind or being a member.
Other than that, you never run into nos. Now, I like being Presbyterian. I like having structures in a church that exemplify biblical wisdom with checks and balances in leadership. We have several layers of being told no built into our system, and that’s a good thing. One of the great dangers I see of independent ministries is often success. Who will tell the star player no? Who will stand up to hinder success if things start going sideways? But as much as a structure can help, it’s not bulletproof, and we all know that because it’s made up of sinners who all want to get their way. I want to get my way. You want to get your way. We’re the commonality of the problem. So that question comes back to us, how are you currently doing with your God-given nos? When God answers your prayer with a resounding no, what do you do with that? As adults, we can have a more sophisticated meltdown at being told no than a two-year-old, but often not by much. We can threaten to take our bat and ball and go home. We can check out of our walk with Jesus. We stop going to church, we stop praying, we stop caring.
We’re telling God that you didn’t do what I wanted you to do, so I’m done. I’ve had it. I’ve tried it and I’m over this because I didn’t get what I thought you should have given me. You see, these are precisely the places that we have the runner’s equivalent to a side ache or great fatigue. It’s in these moments that we are to stretch, to push through by the grace and the kindness of God. Now, I know I didn’t answer all the yeah, buts. Going forward, though, in your situation may require a lot of thoughtful prayer and counsel seeking. But this has to be the starting place. When you’re at that place, you’re going, Is this an obstacle I need to push or is this an obstacle that I need to not fight? I’m not sure, but you start with great humility. You start middle and end. Because the human heart, our simple nature is, I want to get my way. And you can have a stack of reasons, a stack of Bible verses saying why you’re right. Starting with the position of humility before you ever try to figure out which of these two tracks I need to go down.
It’s not easy. How do we know? And as followers of Jesus, we are to consider his life. We are to exemplify what Jesus looked like as he came to some of these junctures himself. Luke 2 tells us that Jesus was submissive to his parents. Hebrews 5 says, During the days of Jesus’s life on earth, he offered up prayers and petition with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death. And he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son, though he was, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him. This is Jesus. This is the beloved Son who trusted his Father. And at the greatest moment of human anguish and torment in the garden of Gethsemani, we read this. Then Jesus said to his disciples, my soul is very sourful, even to death. Remain here and watch with me. And going a little farther, he fell on his face and he prayed, My Father, if it be possible, let this cut pass from me, nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. And again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.
And then the third time with the same words. You see, his cries of agony were always the cries of a child to his father in whom he loves and in whom he trusts. In anguish and torment, he offers his prayers up to the Father with a solid conviction, not my will, but your will be done. ‘ And on the cross, even as a sense of desolation invaded his soul, he confidently commends his spirit into his Father’s hands. And because of that, you and I have been set free from our sins. Salvation comes to us through the Lord Jesus willing submission to the Father. And the good news is that then rolls into us the willing submission of our souls to our heavenly Father in whom we love and in whom we trust. That we would begin to reflect Christ in us in the same way. How do you become a person who things can roll off your back by letting it go the first time. Then subsequently after that and after that and after that. And this change starts to take place. We begin to see as we push against our own sinful desires. As we begin to reflect more and more of the Jesus whom we serve, that this becomes easier.
Not easy, but there’s a real change that takes place. We are learning to say no to ourselves and yes to his righteousness, no to our own selfish desires and wants. And again, some of those could even be right. But the disposition is saying, I would rather be wrong than to put the name of my savior into into anything that would take away from his glory and his grandeour. I’m willing to be wronged. We reflect the very heart of Christ in Philippians 2, though equal with God did not consider equality with God, something to be grasped, but he took on the form of a servant, submitting himself in obedience, even to death on a cross. That’s the Jesus we follow. That’s the Jesus in whose name we have been baptized. And that’s really good news for us. Because on our own, we don’t do this. We’re terrible at this. We’re struggling enough as Christians to do this. And we’re looking to the author and the finisher of our faith to perfect in us what is beautiful, great, and glorious in the body of Christ, that we become a people whose first response is not my will, but, Father, your will, and how that can reflect to one another.
To where we were able to go, I think the idea that I have is a really good one, but I see the merits of yours, and let’s just go ahead and do what you were wanting to do. Because I love you and I trust you too. Or I don’t quite see it that way, but I’m willing to think that I could be wrong. Would you help me understand this. That’s a game changer. That’s not what we’re hearing out there. Who admits to being wrong about anything anymore? Double down on your rights and how you see it. If it’s wrong, I’m going to go even twice as hard in that direction. No, we’ve been set free from that. The wonder and the joy of Jesus working his way through us, his spirit dwelling in us, empowering us to respond as he responded. So that whether it’s a yes or whether it’s a no, that we bring glory to him with a submissive heart and a submissive will that we delight in our brothers and sisters. There’s a course of action this way or that way, not demanding our own way. That is the beauty and the glory of the body of Christ reflecting Jesus.
One day, I can’t even imagine. Can you imagine a thousand people in a boardroom somewhere all agreeing, all preferring someone else? I can’t. But that’s coming. And until then, we get a foretaste of that now in our heart responses to one another and to the Lord when he answers our prayer in a particular way and just says, No. As an infinite, wise, and loving God, I’m putting this in front of you because I love you. And we learn to say yes and amen because you love us. Pray with me. Father, this is hard. There’s none of this that’s easy. And Lord, we would ask not only that you would forgive us where we have sinned against you, where we’ve sinned against others in our pride and our arrogance. But Father, we don’t want to be like this. Change us. Move our hearts. Father, stretch us, cause us to grow. Lord, that we would respond as our savior has responded. We pray for that. And Lord God, we pray, too, for your church, the body of Christ, here and globally. Father, may we really look and smell differently than the world around us. May there be an aroma of life that comes off of us because of Jesus in God, this we would pray and ask all in his mighty name.
Amen.
Discaimer: This sermon text was generated by an automated transcription service.